Who Did they Marry? What is a Covenant?

I have started a new project, so to speak, this year. In addition to learning to lead instead of push, I am going to re read my Bible. Only this time, I'm going to stop whenever I come to something that doesn't make sense, pray about it, research it, possibly write about it, and try to understand what I do not understand. You know how we usually read the Bible, skipping over what isn't clear and focusing on what we've learned and read over and over again. This time, I am asking the Holy Spirit to teach me, guide me and direct my thinking and my actions. I want to know God more clearly, I want to understand His word, His way, and His love for me. I want to be changed into the person He wants me to be. I want to have a heart that is clean and pure and full of love. I want to be rid of the doubt and selfishness that so often creeps into my heart, well actually that lives in a pretty comfortable corner of my heart. I want to be healed of that part of my heart. I want to be led by Him and then lead others to Him. More than anything, I want all of my children and grandchildren to know the love of Jesus Christ and to be led by the Spirit of God in the decisions they make, the actions they take, and the thoughts they think.

Tonight, I read about the sons of Noah and about the multiplying thing and I don't get it. If all the sons of Noah lived a long time and had a bunch of kids, that would increase the population some, but when their kids got old enough to have their own wives and husbands and kids, did they marry their cousins? I guess they would have had to if all life except for Noah's family was killed in the flood. And then, when Abram set out for a different land, wouldn't that have been the land of his own cousins? I mean, that is a lot of generations, and I guess when the sons of Noah separated out and were scattered with different languages, I suppose God could have confused their recollections of each other too. And I guess Abram was so many generations removed from Noah that with the distance and language barrier people really did become strangers...... Maybe I'm no longer confused! Yeah, maybe it does makes sense afterall. For instance, my son's daughter has no knowledge of my husband's sister's kid's kids. And we speak the same language, only about 20 years have gone by, and we live under 200 miles apart. Yet, we have different lives, and they don't even know each other although they are like second or third cousins. Maybe it's not so hard to understand after all, given thousands of miles and hundreds of years.

As a side note, I also learned that before the flood, it appears that men only ate plants. After the flood, the animals were also given to us as food.

And one more thing, I'm going to do some research on the word covenant. God made a covenant with Noah, his family, and with all the living things. The covenant was that he would never again destroy the entire earth with a flood even though the inclination of the heart of man was and still is evil even from childhood. (** Important not to miss that evil inclination thing that we are all born with. Just watch a two year old throw a tantrum if you aren't convinced we're all born with the sin thing. ) The sign of this covenant is the rainbow, which, by the way, I saw in the sky this evening. It was a perfect rainbow, crossing from one side of the sky across to the other side without interruption. I love it when I can see a rainbow, uninterrupted by buildings or trees or other blocks to this display of God's love for us. But, the problem I am having with this "covenant", is this: If a covenant is an agreement, I see nothing that man or the animals for that matter, agreed to with God in regards to this "never another flood" thing. In this so-called covenant, God promises not to do something and gives mankind and the animals a rainbow as a sign to prove his word. I've always thought a covenant was an agrrement, but here, the word covenant seems more likely to mean a promise or oath that God will keep instead of an agreement. I wonder if the Greek or Hebrew word is different for the different times the word covenant is used throughout the Bible. Is the covenant that has to do with salvation, the one that was decided upon before the foundation of the earth, and then later revealed to man, is that covenant an agreement between God and man, is it an agreement between the godheads, Father, Son, and Spirit? Does it, by nature of being an agreement, require both parties or all parties to agree to something, some action, some statement, some something? Or is it a promise that God makes that simply cannot and will not be broken. Hmm..... I wonder what I will find.

An Atypical Sunday

I went "visiting" today. The first part of the day was spent visiting with the children in the nursery. We visited about letters, trucks, animal sounds, and dirty diapers.

The next part of my day was spent visiting a kind friend. She is staying in a nursing home, but only for a few more days. This friend of mine was extremely happy to see me and I was happy to see her. We enjoyed "healthy" hamburgers and drinks from Sonic, a break from the ordinary supper she usually eats. We shared stories of getting old and funny experiences with people older than we are. I really enjoy my visits with her. I wonder why it always takes me so long to get there.

My last visit today, was a visit down memory lane. My youngest son needed some pictures and papers from his school years. I spent several hours pouring over papers, and report cards, pictures, medals, ribbons, old programs, lots of paintings and memories of school days long gone. I relieved his piano playing, his gymnastics, field days, class parties, award ceremonies. I was reminded of the good times and the bad times. Of tears, laughter, trips, homework, reading books before bedtime, pets, competitions, sports, cars, tournaments, more competitions, school work, school days, worrying, laughing, crying, smiling, summer days, summer nights, girl friends, good friends, bad friends, star watching, bug catching, fishing, swimming, driving, cooking, washing, cheering, and vactions...... I'm glad I kept those papers and pictures and ribbons. It was awesome going back through them. Looking back, it's funny how the talents and loves and skills of a child are evident from day one. The obstacles and weaknesses that they must overcome are also present from day one. It's interesting too, to see the difference each teacher made, the impressions they left behind, the effort they took in the words they used to mold and encourage and discourage. The time they took to help my child grow and learn. What a blessing each of these people have been in his life. Unfortunately, there are memories of those who made a lasting mark of hurt, pain that has also stayed with him. I wonder how many times we say things to others that has a detrimental and lasting effect. I still remember the words adults said to me that built me up and the words adults spoke to me to tear me down. I wonder why we don't know the how lasting and powerful are words are.

I love my children. I hope they know that now as much as they knew that when they were little. Actually, I hope they know that even better now. I hope that the mistakes I made can be forgiven and that the words I may have spoken without thinking or in anger didn't leave as much of a mark as the words I spoke and the actions I took to love, protect and guide and care for them.

It's funny how just a few items can open up a multitude of memories. I hope I never lose that ability to call back those memories and I hope my kids won't forget them either. I think, perhaps, both the good and the bad memories are good to remember. Together, those experiences help us to be better human beings.

Lead; Don't Push

It was a warm, no, make that a hot, sunny day in June. My two little grandsons were playing "restaurant" with me in their "diner", an outdoor playhouse. They were taking my order, fixing it up, and serving my pretend food as I sat at their little table, pretending to eat and watching them interact with each other and me. Logan, the four-year-old, began pushing his younger brother, Andrew, in the direction he wanted him to go. Andrew, who loves his big brother, was not happy. In fact, he was quickly becoming quite put out with the bossy treatment he was getting from his big brother.
"Logan," I said patiently but firmly as I looked him in the eyes, "you don't need to push Andrew. It only makes him NOT want to do what you want him to do. Andrew is always trying to do what you do. All you have to do is walk where you want him to go, and he will gladly try to do whatever you are doing! When you push him, it only makes him angry. He loves you, and he wants to be big like you. Show him, lead him, but don't push him."
As the words of instruction came tumbling out of my mouth, it suddenly occurred to me: That is exactly what I, as a parent of an adult child, had been doing to frustrate my youngest but very adult son. I was pushing opinions, thoughts, and beliefs, instead of leading by my own life decisions and actions. No wonder I was and am frustrating him. vHe knows I love him, and like all children(adult or young) he wants to know that I am well pleased with him, but pushing what I think is best is actually having a negative effect on him -- regarding the choices he makes, the principals I hold dear, his faith in God, and his opinions of Christians in general. My pushing is also taking a huge toll on our relationship, and it's undercutting his self confidence. Instead of encouraging him, I am discouraging him. Which is, of course, the last thing on earth I want to do. I know that I do what I do out of love, unlike the selfishness and desire for control that drives preschoolers, but that doesn't matter. Even if pushing is done in the name of "protection or preventing future regret or pain", it still feels the same on the receiving end of the push. My adult children have to make their own way. They have to make their own decisions, their own mistakes and their own successes. They don't like pushing anymore than Andrew does. They don't need it anymore than Andrew does.
God is amazing. I had been asking God for wisdom and guidance. And there, in the midst of a moment when I thought I was teaching my grandson about getting along with his little brother, God taught me.

A Change in Heart

Recently, a friend of mine on Facebook, wrote the following quote from Max Lucado: “You change your life by changing your heart.” That quote sent me on a writing frenzy in an attempt to express what I have been contemplating for a long time. The thoughts that follow are ones I posted on Facebook, I’m sure to the aggravation of those who hate long posts. In fact, my response was so long, that I had to divide it into two posts. At any rate, I wanted to post these thoughts to share. If you have comments, positive or negative, I would love to read your thoughts, too.

I think instead of changing our own hearts, we need to give up our hearts. I think the only way our hearts will change is to recognize God's great love for us. And even that recognition is a gift of God.

In the U S, we don't really understand or like the idea of being anything but independent and in control of our own destiny. But Jesus came to rule and reign over a kingdom. That kingdom wasn't and isn't a political kingdom. He came to reign over our hearts. Although we strive for freedom, and it is a part of our heritage, we can't ever be free. Either sin will reign in our hearts or He will. And we can't change our hearts. We can't change our inclination to do evil. Only a full understanding of, affection for, adoration of, and total devotion to Him (which are only possible through the grace of God) can transform our hearts. "Create in me a clean heart, oh, God, and renew a right spirit within me..." It's God who changes our hearts.

If we really believe and understand how much He loves us, we can't help but love Him back by the way we live. If we really understand who Christ is and what He has done and is doing, we will respond out of love and gratitude! The more we know about God, the more we will love Him. If we really trusted that He cares for us, then doing what He asks and not doing what He forbids would be so much easier.

It's our ignorance of who He is, our doubt in His love and power, and our unwillingness for Him to reign (a.k.a. change and control our hearts) that causes us to live the way we do.

So, I think that instead of continually trying to change myself and others (whether it is my life, my actions, or my heart), from now on, I'm going to spend more time reading the Bible and praying, asking Him to reveal Himself, His power, His love, and His will to me, to give me a faith that will not grow weak... I'm going to ask Him to change and soften my heart so that I can know and do what He says. I'm going to ask Him to give me a heart like His and a future with Him in heaven after this life is long gone. I'm longing for that completely trusting heart that knows being under His rule is worth more than any freedom I might have in this temporary life. I want a new heart, a heart that is better than any change I can make. I want a heart that wants above all to serve Him, instead of the selfish and self-centered doubting one I've got. And I want that for the people I know and love, too.